I am fond of this quote from Martha Beck:
“The past doesn’t exist except as a memory, a mental story, and though past events aren’t changeable, your stories about them are. You can act now to transform the way you tell the story of your past, ultimately making it a stalwart protector of your future.”
Can the story you tell about your past really affect your future? To me, that’s an exciting possibility to consider, and I believe it is true. When you tell stories about your past—about things that happened to you, or what you did or experienced— you are creating a personal narrative that shapes all of your thoughts, beliefs and actions. Your thoughts and beliefs give rise to actions; your actions create results. Are the thoughts you are having about your past creating results in the present —and ultimately, into a future— that you want?
The past doesn’t exist like something that is real, like the chair you are sitting on, or the computer screen on which you seeing these words. The past exists in the story you tell about it. You make decisions and take actions of enormous consequence based on what your narrative tells you.
Are you conscious of the stories you tell yourself about your past? Are the stories about how wonderful you are, and how your past has made you into a glorious, deserving person?
Or do your stories keep you small, stuck, scared and unworthy?
Stuff happens— no doubt about it. It is what you make that “stuff” mean that’s important. Instead of cursing your misfortune, rephrase it positively. For example: You didn’t get that new job you wanted so desperately. Are you making it mean that you are incompetent, unable, or unappreciated by your boss? Or do you tell yourself that you are simply now available for the next offer, which will be so much better than the one you didn’t get?
My challenge to you is to start re-saying your past, whether long ago or very recent. Grab a hold of all the awful things you have made up about things that you’ve done, things that have happened to you, and choose to have a bright, bold narrative. It isn’t easy to catch your story mantras, but once brought to consciousness they will be more obvious, and eventually re-telling them in a positive light will get easier and easier.
If you remember anything, remember this: be aware of what you tell yourself about your past. Many, many things happen to you that actually don’t even have a single thing to do with you— but you’ve made them mean so much. If you are going to make up that everything that happened occurred somehow because of you, or to you, or has to do with you, have it be in a positive way.
Contact me at vicki@mykickasscoach.com for a special offer. Pay only $25 for a 45-minute phone consultation (a $93 value). Thereafter, if you choose to continue to work with me, receive $25 off the coaching package of your choice.
{ 0 comments }
