As a coach, I encourage my clients to feel their feelings and not try to avoid them or push them down. However, when we not only feel our feelings but let them have influence over our decisions, they can lead us astray.
Feelings are just feelings. They have no bearing on your ability to achieve what you set out to achieve. Now, I don’t want anyone to think I’m minimizing feelings. It’s just that sometimes we give them WAY more power than we should. Feelings can be so intense that they can cause us to see situations from a skewed perspective. We make mountains out of mole hills. We see insult where there was none intended.
When it comes to our career or our business, the lies that feelings tell can cause us avoid actions that could propel us forward. They can also cause us to take actions that are not productive.
Here are 4 steps to help you avoid the pitfalls of letting your feelings decide your actions.
1. Pay attention to your feelings and label them. Are you angry, or sad or lonely or afraid? Call it by name.
2. Give yourself some time to just feel what you feel. No running and no judgment.
3. Once you’ve labeled and spent some time with your feelings, ask yourself what you want to accomplish (in the situation, relationship, job, moment, etc.).
4. Take action towards what you want to accomplish.
The idea is to experience all of what you feel AND take action based on your goals and commitments, not your feelings.
If you’re someone who has a limited vocabulary when it comes to your feelings, send me an email and I will forward a list of feelings for you to explore.
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I always have to pay attention to my feelings when I am hungry. Sometimes my feelings make me crave something that I shouldn't eat which is bad news. Professionally I am getting better at paying attention to my feelings and if there are people or situations that cause them. I am learning from it, thanks for the tips!