Embracing crazy

Ok, this is a doozy of a blog post and will likely be a long one.  Grab a cup of coffee or, better yet, a glass of wine, and get comfy. 

I’m a bit nervous about posting this because it is the ultimate in vulnerable for me.  However, it is also my truth.

As many of you know, I have been on a mission to discover who my target market is.  My niche.  Who I’m speaking to.  Nothing has felt right.  I’ve had the feeling it is right in front of me and I’ve been dancing around it.  Well, as it turns out, I was right.

You know how I’m always talking about messages from the Universe?  You may call it God, inner knowledge, real self, etc.  Well, I’ve been listening intently to these messages for the past few months.  I’m hearing them but not understanding what they mean.

Here are some of the messages I’ve been noticing (a beautiful example of synchronicity):

• Months ago I reconnected with a past boyfriend on Facebook.  We’re talking WAY in the past.  He tells me he is married to a life coach.  I check out her website and discover she is a certified Martha Beck coach.  This means nothing to me.  The only thing I know about Martha Beck is that she is on The Oprah Show frequently.
 

• For some reason I now decide to check out Martha Beck and see what she is about.  Again, nothing earth shattering.  For some inexplicable reason, I become a “Fan” on her Facebook fan page.
 

• I end up loving her posts on FB.  She (Martha Beck) is hilarious and definitely my kind of people.
 

• I think about Martha Beck daily.  Even I think I'm a weirdo at this point.  I have no idea why and I don’t spend any time trying to figure it out.  Helloooooo, this is the Universe talking and I’m not listening.  AGAIN!
 

• At the same time, I am also developing an online relationship with Ani Bell (www.anibell.com) who calls herself, “kick ass coach”.  Say what!?  I adore Ani and feel a kindred connection with her.  I look at her website all the time.  I pretty much drool over it and wish I could be her. 
 

• I have no idea why she and I are meant to know each other so I just accept that we are.  She’s cool and I like her.  That’s enough for me.
 

• The week, as I was looking at Ani’s website yet again, I notice something that I’ve not seen before.  Was it there all the time or is it new?  At the bottom of one page, there is a small icon that says Ani is a Certified Martha Beck coach.  Whoa.  Martha Beck again???
 

• This morning I wake up and begin thinking about Martha Beck the minute I open my eyes.  WTH?  Something is definitely wrong with me.  By 8:00am I am on her website looking through every page.  There must be something here that I need.
 

• I don’t find anything that stops the earth so I sign up for her newsletter and move on.
 

• I get the standard “thanks for signing up” email from Martha.  In the email, there is a link to download an excerpt from her new book, The Team.  I immediately download it and begin reading.
 

• I am blown away.  She is speaking to me.  She is talking my kind of crazy!  She is forming The Team and I know I am part of it.
I know some of this wont make sense to you.  It doesn't even matter what the book said.  The point is, just reading that little book excerpt  made me see that my people (who I’m speaking to) have been right in front of me the whole time.  My Team (Team Kick Ass is forming now) is made up of people like me who have pretty much always felt like a square peg in the round hole of life.  We look like we fit in on the outside, but on the inside we feel just a bit “special” and crazy.

My husband lovingly tells me I’m crazy all the time.  He really does think I’m crazy.  Like, I have a screw loose.  I’ve always told him, “I’m not crazy, I’m innovative”.  Both of us are correct.  I AM a special kind of crazy and I am innovative.  Crazy has always scared me.  Innovative was just my left brain way of saying it.

So what makes me a square peg in the round hole of life?  I love and am passionate about so many seemingly disparate subjects.  I like to start things but not finish them.  I am spiritual in a pretty woo woo kind of way.  I’ve just completely denied it prior to this moment.  I know, I know!  How many times have you heard me say I’m not woo woo!  I believe in spooky, crazy things that cannot be explained by science.  I just wouldn’t admit to that either.  I've had some crazy, beautiful experiences in my life that I have shared with very few people because I knew they wouldn't understand.

I’ve always felt I had to protect this part of myself and not let everyone in on it.  They would think I was weird or crazy or woo woo.  Well I am a special kind of crazy and people who have this special kind of crazy will be the people who change the world, one kick ass day at a time.

I know, kind of lofty, isn’t it!

People who think with everyone else and follow the rules and who wouldn’t dream of being irreverent or unreasonable will never change the world.  People who think science and doctors have the answer to everything will likely not be a part of my team.  By the way, I was one of these people for a long time.  Fear is what kept me in that box.

It’s the people who think outside the box and are willing to embrace the crazy thoughts they have who will ultimately change the world we live in.  I intend to be one of those people.  My mission is to provide a place where we square pegs can combine modern science, technology and personal transformation into a world changing movement.

I know who I’m speaking to now.  I’m speaking to those of you who have always known you’re a little “different” and are meant to do great things in this world.  You also hide that most of the time.  You don’t know how to use the power you have without looking like you’re a nut.  You feel like you’re the square peg in a round hole.  You look like you fit in but on the inside you know you don’t.

I’m talking to you.

If you recognize that I’m addressing you, please let me know.  If you think I’m crazy, please let me know.  If you think I’ve bumped my head and I’m feeling woozy, let me know.  Think this sounds woo woo?  I’ll take that as a huge compliment from now on.