The other day one of my clients said something that struck me as so profound and true. She said that authenticity, for her, means sharing from the heart and not the ego. Wow! I love that. I think she is 100% correct.
Her statement got me thinking about how our ego can get in the way of us having deep, meaningful connections with people. We sometimes use our ego as a weapon or an armor to protect ourselves. Some of us go around acting as if we are at constant war with other people and that means our ego must be on guard at all times. That war is all in our heads and is kept alive and well by our fears.
Have you ever met someone who instantly put you on your guard? They seem so high and mighty that your ego instantly makes an appearance! You know, someone who you would label as a “know it all” or “better than” everyone else?
Next time this happens, check your own ego. What makes it necessary to put on the ego armor as soon as we perceive someone as a threat? Our own fear is telling us we need to show them who we are and what we are made of. Then you have two people who have donned their ego armor and we are off to war!
No connection can happen between two people wearing ego armor. I have had incredible friendships come out of me consciously taking off my ego armor even though the other person is wearing theirs. This is a risk. It’s scary. It is so incredibly worth it. When you remove your armor, it gives the other person permission to do the same. You provide a safe place for them to be themselves without the ego armor. Connection happens. Miracles happen. Friendships are made.
I invite you to give this a try. When you go out today, leave the ego armor at home and see what happens. Let me know about the new connections you make.
Thank you to my insightful, authentic and open client for providing the topic for this blog post. You rock!
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It is inevitable life is about relationships, yet is is how we chose to show up in those relationships that fulfills our purpose.
Love this topic. I always say that my best ideas come from my customers…. well they are really their ideas… but I put my spin on it and make them my own.
Kudos to you for having your ears OPEN and always being open to learning and hearing. Like you, I have seen egos get in the way of friendships and business success.
@Kerry – you are so right, as usual and so profound! Love you!
@Chrystal – yes, if I pay attention, I learn something from clients daily. This is what I love about coaching! I get to help people be kick-ass and I improve myself in the process.
This is so true! Too bad it is so much easier to relate with our ego armor rather than from our true selves. Thanks for the encouragement.
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